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Casamentos infelizes: reparar o "barco do amor"?

por oficinadepsicologia, em 03.06.12

Autora: Inês Mota

Psicóloga Clínica

www.oficinadepsicologia.com

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Inês Mota

O casamento ou a conjugalidade é um marco precioso nas nossas vidas. É sabido que é difícil manter o “barco do amor” em velocidade cruzeiro e todos sabemos também que por vezes a viagem contempla águas turbulentas ou agitadas.

No entanto, se lhe parece que de forma permanente não se sente feliz na sua relação, os dados a seguir podem ajudá-lo a motivar-se a investir a uma “inspecção” à mecânica do seu  antigo “barco do amor”.

 

Gottman, J., estudou 650 casais e seguiu o percurso dos seus casamentos por mais de 14 anos e revela que um casamento infeliz pode aumentar as probabilidades de ficar doente em cerca de 35% e mesmo diminuir a vida em 4 anos.

 

As probabilidades são melhor percebidas se atendermos ao facto de que as pessoas casadas que vivem infelizes experimentam um stress físico e emocional crónico com maior frequência o que pode determinar, por exemplo, tensão arterial elevada, doença cardíaca, ansiedade, depressão, abuso de substâncias e violência.

 

Num outro estudo conduzido pelo autor, dados significativos dizem-nos que nos casais infelizes com filhos os pais não são os únicos que sofrem, as crianças dos casais onde habita a hostilidade revelaram também níveis crónicos de hormonas de stress comparadas com as outras crianças estudadas. Estas crianças foram seguidas até idade de 15 anos e verificou-se que sofriam mais frequentemente de depressão, conflituosidade, rejeição pelos pares, problemas de comportamento, nomeadamente heteroagressividade, baixo rendimento escolar e mesmo insucesso escolar.

Desta forma fica claro que as consequências de, pelos filhos se manter um casamento onde a hostilidade é a regra, demonstram ser demasiado sérias e pesadas.

 

Gottman, revela-nos um achado valioso do decorrer da sua investigação: de que a maioria dos casais que mantiveram casamentos felizes, evidenciaram um casamento emocionalmente inteligente. Estes casais demonstraram ter atingido uma dinâmica que impede que os pensamentos e sentimentos negativos acerca um do outro se sobreponham aos positivos. Desta forma quanto mais um casal for emocionalmente inteligente mais é capaz de compreender, honrar e respeitar-se mutuamente e ao seu casamento. Segundo, o autor e felizmente para todos “os barcos do amor” que estão ancorados à espera de uma melhor maré, a inteligência emocional é uma capacidade que segundo o autor, pode ser ensinada a um casal. Com motivação, persistência e amizade conjugal poderá deixar-se navegar novamente em velocidade cruzeiro, e em marés tranquilas.

 

Fonte: Gameiro, J. (2007) Entre Marido e Mulher…Terapia de Casal, trilhos editora

publicado às 14:08


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De Anónimo a 31.05.2020 às 12:06

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